Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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