Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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