Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
