Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
