I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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