I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
