So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
