the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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