You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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