I just pynch a tree in the face
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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