Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
