theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
