He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My breasts were aching with rage.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
