is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
