Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
