I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
