Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Drake has all the answers
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
