Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
