allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
