hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
