Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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