batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
