3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
