You're so nebulous sometimes
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Four minutes until I can fart!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
