4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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