Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
