she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
