i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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