I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
