4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
