the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
