Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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