I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
