He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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