Rock
Scissors
Fuck
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
