At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
