I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
