Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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