There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
