Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
