I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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