you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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