At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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