Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
