If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
