so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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