Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize