You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I think my moral compass just broke
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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