Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I don't deserve a penis
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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