i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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