keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
my poor anus
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
