they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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