I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
