Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
