Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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