I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
