I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
