i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.