brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.