she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.