i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
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i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
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Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"