that's an acceptable place to lick
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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