carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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