Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
