No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
is wine microwaveable?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
