oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
