Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize